incommon

chasing you meant
running away from myself
wanting you meant
avoiding myself
and my own happiness
but at that time
facing myself was
too scary
too too scary
my wounds were too heavy
they would have killed me at that time
loss of blood
So I chased you
and then I caught you
it was kind of surprising.
and then you fell in love with me
and we would miscommunicate
and you would run away from conflict
and i’d over react
and i’d forgive
and i’d forgive
and i’d forgive
and i’d forgive
and i’d make you feel insecure
and you were in love with me
Deep
and I was in love with you
and then one day
i didn’t know anymore
all i knew was you
and you were all i knew
because back then I HAD to have you
had to
had to
i was weak
i wasnt strong enough to face myself
my wounds were too deep
they would have killed me at the time
loss of blood
but now
i don’t know how to be alone
all i know is you
but now
i don’t know who i am
or what my truth is
or what I want out of life
but now
I don’t know anymore

This is common
i’ve heard this story many different times
from many different humans
maybe its not because the relationship wasn’t meant to be
maybe its because we don’t spend enough time with ourselves
maybe its because we aren’t satisfied
with anything
I won’t let myself believe that
it is a good thing to allow our dissatisfaction
to lead us to achievement and accolades
we were meant to be true
we were meant to be real
we were meant to be satisfied

Some thoughts this Thursday.

-Amber B


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