Successful?

I’m an expert at ‘doing me’
At being independent
At doing my own thing
I have so much success
I’m an expert at being successful
At achievement

But

I don’t want anymore of it
No more
I don’t need anymore success
Achieving success
In order to make yourself lovable
In order to attract a mate

Is exhausting
And it doesn’t work
It’s not effective

I mean, are dudes checking for me?

Absolutely.
Everywhere I go.
Every single day.

Success is good at attracting men

But I want a man to

love

me

I don’t want a man to want me cause I’m shiny

But because I have a good heart
I’m fun to be around
I’m beautifully flawed
And completely worthy of acceptance forgiveness and unconditional love

I want to love a man
And remind him everyday that he is valued and appreciated
And loved by me

I want to be loved by a man

I am tired of having success
And no significant other to share it with
If I got married and had children
I would quit my job and share the success of my lover and nurture and mentor our children

I don’t want to exploit success for love anymore

I just want to be confident enough that being myself is enough
That with all of my talents and successes aside
That I alone am worthy and deserving of being loved

I just want to show love and be me
be comfortable in my own skin
be fearless
be funny

But not successful

Success is something to be worn in the way you walk
In your being
In the way you are comfortable being alone
Or withholding from sharing your job title in conversation

Success is a mental state
Not an accolade to show off

-Amber B

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